


Touch Me and Die

by HolisticPanda



Series: Kurlish Week [1]
Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hugs, Personally I love these two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 03:16:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12334404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HolisticPanda/pseuds/HolisticPanda
Summary: She didn’t think touching could ever be a good thing.Kurlish Week Day 1: 'Touch'





	Touch Me and Die

**Author's Note:**

> I was on vacation during this challenge and had -zero- time to write full stories for Kurlish Week, so here I am a week later starting this challenge. These two don't get enough love!

The first person she remembers touching her was one of the many faceless science people that had wandered in and out of her life when she was a child, poking and prodding at her with various tools and contraptions in an attempt to understand the secret behind her invincibility. She remembers him stabbing her with a needle, and then she remembers taking the needle from his hand and jabbing it through his eye and into his brain—killing him slowly and probably _very_ painfully if his screams were anything to go by.

Every person that had touched her since had met a similar fate. Some right away, some much later, but in the end, she _always_ killed them. 

So that’s why she’s understandably terrified by the feel of his hands wrapping around her bicep in an attempt to stop her from killing someone that she’s meant to. She immediately pictures the hundreds of ways that she can kill him, and for the first time, the images don't fill her with glee. Her confused gaze shifts between his hands and his face, unable to believe that he’s touching her despite repeatedly warning him not to, before her instincts kick in and she has the presence of mind to wrench her arm out of his grasp.

She takes a minute to finish her job, smirking as she feels the familiar satisfaction of a job well done, but once the thrill wears off, she explodes. The thought of losing her first friend by her own hand is almost more than she can take, so she tries to make him cooperate in the only way she knows how; with threats of death and dismemberment. 

She wants him to clearly understand that even though she likes him and doesn’t _want_ to kill him, it’s ultimately not up to her. What the universe wants the universe gets, so the best thing he can do to avoid dying is to not piss it off by trying to stop her from doing her job.

It’s not until they get back to their hotel room—which she still can't believe is theirs—that she’s able to relax at all. Usually if she’s meant to kill someone she feels the urge pretty much right away, but so far, he’s still alive. Sure, he’s absolutely terrified of her again, but he’s _alive_. Still she feels a little bad for threatening to kill him, so she awkwardly plops down on the bed where he's resting, the corners of her mouth twitching downwards when he shrinks away from her.

“Sorry for all that stuff I said before. People who touch me or get in my way die, and...and I don’t want you to die, Ken.” She's surprised by how hard the words are to say with her throat suddenly becoming tight and a strange prickling at the backs of her eyeballs, but she manages to squeeze them out regardless.

He stares at her incredulously for a few seconds, not sure whether he's more shocked by the apology or the fact that she actually believes people die if they touch her, but eventually a small, nervous smile appears on his face. He hesitantly pats the empty space on the bed next to him in what he hopes is an inviting gesture.

“Come here.”

Bart furrows her eyebrows. “Why?” Despite her question, she shifts closer until her thigh is nearly touching his.

Nervously—because if she's right about the whole touching equals death thing he is very, _very_ dead—he wraps his arm around her thin shoulders. She immediately panics and tries to pull away, but he holds tight. “Do you feel like killing me?” he asks, somehow able to keep his voice from wavering.

Her shoulders relax and she cocks her head in genuine confusion. “Not really?”

Nodding to himself, Ken uses his other hand to gently push her head until it’s resting gingerly on his shoulder. “Now?”

She takes a moment to think about it. There's definitely an odd feeling in her gut, but it’s not one that makes her want to kill him. “No.”

The relief that fills her as she answers gives her enough confidence to close her eyes and lean more heavily into him. She didn’t think touching could ever be a good thing, but his hand on her shoulder and his head against hers are easily among the best things she’s ever felt. It’s become a drug that she’s already addicted to and isn’t planning to give up, even if the universe tries to say otherwise.

She doesn’t know how long they sit there, her wrapped in his surprisingly strong grip, but he eventually lets her go in order to get them both something to eat—most likely some more of that China food he seems to love so much.

She reaches out and grabs his sleeve before he can get too far, feeling oddly embarrassed under his questioning gaze. “Can we do that again? Later?”

He's initially confused, his head tilting as he considers her words, but then he seems to understand what she’s asking and grins down at her. “I’ll hug you anytime you want me to.”

The fluttering in her stomach—now a feeling that she thinks means she's happy—forces a smile onto her face. Yeah, touching can definitely be a good thing.


End file.
